What is your name? (required) Robert McPhail

Your email address? (required) XtremeZ26@aol.com

Who do you want the poem written for? Trisha

Why do you want the poem written? We are getting married, and I want it read to her during the ceremony. Not as vows, but more as a special surprise part of the wedding.

What are the key messages you would like the poem to send?

The things I love about her:
-how she brings me closer to God...
-how she makes me feel like I'm right even when she knows I'm wrong...
-how she supported my passion for motorcycles even though it scared her to death; she said, "If you die, I'll kill you." Pleas use that line if you can.
-how she stood by me after my wreck and during my surgery on a broken cheekbone...
-her childlike love for animals...
-how she lights up my day with just one smile...
-how I'm honored that she chose me over the million other guys who would love to be in my shoes

Do you have any funny, sad, happy, embarrassing or otherwise memorable moments that you would like to share?

One moment that I would love to be included is when Trisha took me out for my 26th birthday. We went out to eat then she took me to a park in Cary. She brought a candle, some grapes, and sparkling grape juice. It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me. We had a wonderful conversation. Then we stopped talking for just a minute and looked up at the night sky. At that very moment, a shooting star shot across the sky. It was the most perfect moment I had ever experienced.

Do you have any other comments or thoughts?

I would also like to use a song lyric from Tracy Byrd's "Keeper of the Stars." I would like for this to end the poem. -"I tip my hat to the keeper of the stars. He knew what he was doing when he joined these two hearts. I hold everything when I hold you in my arms. I've got all I'll ever need thanks to the keeper of the stars."

What style of poem would you prefer? (Happy, sad, romantic etc.)
Romantic; w/a humorous point

Desired Package: Unique

Extra Comments:

I would like for the poem to be romantic first of all, but because I'm known for making people laugh, I would like there to be at least one part that people can laugh at. Preferably near the beginning or middle, and end it romantically. It would be great if you could include all that I wrote in the "key messages" section and something about the shooting star story. If you had a standard length that you go by, and you can't fit all this in it, I'll pay a little extra to lengthen the poem. I look forward to reading the first draft. Thanks a million.

The Star Keeper

Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention please? Every now and then in life, there's opportunity you should seize. Because days, weeks, months happen, and the years, they go so fast, and words that should get said, don't - and if they do, they never last. So I'd like to change all that, and stop the proceedings right there, because I have a few words to say, and a few feelings I'd like to share. You see, the person standing next to me, she fills my heart with bursting pride, and I feel like the luckiest man alive, because she's chosen to be my bride. And the things that I love about her, are too many to individually name, but I'll try to list just a couple, if it's OK with you, all the same. Trisha brings me closer to God, and now I know the meaning of Divine, and I know that I've been blessed by Him, because I'm just so lucky that she's mine. And even when she knows that I'm wrong, she magically makes me feel as if I'm right, she is my inspiration, my sunshine, she always makes mornings out of the darkest night. Trisha's always supported my passion for motorcycles, I can't imagine the nervous times I've put her through, best summed up by her immortal words: "If you die, I'll kill you". And Trisha stood by me after my wreck, and during my surgery on my broken cheekbone, she was a wonderful part of the healing process, because I never felt that I was ever alone. Trisha has a childlike love for animals, and she lights up my day with just a smile, and I think she lit up this whole church, when she gracefully walked up the aisle. And I feel the luckiest guy on earth, they'd be at least a million who'd like to be in my shoes, and I still find it hard to believe, that it was me that Trisha chose to choose. And I remember on my 26th birthday we went out to eat and then went to the park, a candle, some grapes and sparkling grape juice, two lovers, in love, holding hands after dark. We had a simply wonderful conversation, and it was a magical evening, by and by, because the keeper of the stars obliged, and a shooting star shot across the sky. It was the most perfect experience I've ever had, sitting there in silence with the one I love, staring at the night sky in wonderment, as our union was blessed by the heavens above. And that shooting star was beautiful, but not as beautiful as the shining star before me, and I'm so glad that God starred and kept Trisha, because she'll light up my night sky for all of eternity. So, I tip my hat to the keeper of the stars, to know what he was doing when he joined these two hearts, I hold everything when I hold you in my arms, I've got all I'll ever need, thanks to the keeper of the stars.

Copyright www.agiftofpoetry.co.uk 2009

Allen Jesson

Comments:

Man.... That is it!! Your done! I have one question, though. I'm confused about the wording of the next to last stanza. The part that says, "and I'm so glad that God starred and kept Trisha" My question is, what are you trying to say there? That one line throws me off. Can you clear it up for me?

Thanks again. This is awesome! Robert

I replied:

Hi - Now you're asking some questions - the inner workings of a crazed poet ! To explain, or at least this is what I thought when it came to me:

1. God is the keeper of the stars.
2. A shooting star is "spent", a star in the night sky is not.
3. Stars in the night sky are people's light, representing each and every soul.
4. Trisha is your star.
5. God decided to keep Trisha for you, therefore he starred (a play on words)

Heavy I know - but really meaningful. Hope you agree.