What is your name : Colleen Petetit

Who do you want the poem written for: My Son Christopher

Why do you want the poem written: Let him know that I love him and miss him , I wish I was a part of his everyday life. That I am sorry for all the things that happened because of the divorce. I forgive him for all the things that he said and did to hurt me. I know that he was hurting and directed it to me.

What are the key messages you would like to send: Even though Chris turned his back on his brothers and my self, I understand him needing to gain acceptance from his dad. Chris moved in with his dad and his dads girlfriend when he was 12. Ryan was not allowed to see his dad, had wiped him out of his life Cameron was not allowed to be around his dads girlfriend due to abuse towards Cameron. Dad had erased his brothers out of his life, so Chris tried to erase us out of his life and would have nothing to do with any of us. Chris would call the police and have them come out and do well fair checks on his little brother to cause problems. He would call the house and yell and scream at me, he wrote horrible mean letters. It caused Ryan and Chris to hate each other because Ryan would tell him to quit calling and causing trouble. This went on for two years. Chris would call me to come to his school to meet him because he needed something and then he would set me up by telling the school that he thought that I was going to take him, and they would call his dad and his dads girlfriend they would come to the school. It was a disaster. Chris would call to talk to Cameron and would end up making Cameron cry so Cameron wouldn?t want to talk to him. Chris was basically brainwashed by his Dad and his girlfriend. Christopher?s Dad was a Police Officer , Chris was so proud of his Dad. Dad ended up getting fired for doing illegal things at work and had to do 20 days in jail. Dad attempted suicide two times. It was all over the news , Chris held his head up high and stood up for Dad. I was basically non existant in his life. They moved to Oregon about 18 mos. ago. I saw Chris about 5 times in three years. Chris has since then come back into our lives and we finally get to see him. When Chris came for his first visit Ryan and Chris had not seen each other for almost three years. Ryan was so mad at Chris he said he was going to kick his but when he saw him. Chris arrived by train, Cameron and I picked him up I was very nervous about Ryan and Chris seeing each other. Cameron had to go to the hospital that day for stitches in the chin, I was at the hospital for 4 hours with Cameron. That made Chris free game for big brother Ryan while I was gone. I worried and imagined the worse while sitting at the hospital with little brother. As we pulled up from the hospital there they were playing basketball in the front yard., laughing and rough housing like nothing had ever happened. There was big brother Ryan introducing Chris to all his friends and bragging about Chris to all of them. Chris is my gentlest of my three boys he has a mild soul and is easily hurt. He has a way with animals, they all love him. My little boy who was always clutsy and not coordinated he finally grew into his huge feet. He's fifteen and six foot three he is now very coordinated and very athletic just what he wanted to be like his big brother Ryan. I do not get to see Chris very often he lives far away, I want him to know that he is the last thing that I think of when I close my eyes and the first thing I think of when I wake. I love him just as much as his brothers. I wish that i could watch him grow every day and see his smile, I am missing out on so much with him. I want him to know that I understand his loyalty to his dad and that he will always have a home with me.

Do you have any funny, sad, happy, embarrassing or otherwise memorable moments that you would like to share: Every time you leave to go back to your dads from a visit I feel like I will never see you again. Dancing with you at your sixth grade dance when all the moms danced with there sons. I still have the light up rose that you surprised me with from Disneyland, you were so proud of it . I will always cherish it. Embarrassing moments for you, were watching you try and run down the basketball court and watching you fall, your feet were so big. But you finally grew into them and look at you now. Tears of joy , when you come home to visit and I get to see you spend time with your brothers , laughing and joking about things that happened when you were little. Watching you and Ryan talking to girls, you both have so much in common now that you are both older.

What style of poem would you prefer (happy, sad, romantic etc.): Happy Sad , forgiving missing you , time to heal

Please choose which package you would prefer: Unique

Do you have any last comments or thoughts: How proud that I am of him , things have not been fair for him and his brothers but the hardest things in life will make a stronger person

Light Up

Chris, I want to say a few words, and these may come as some surprise, but you?re the last thing I think of at night, and the first thing I think of when I open my eyes. And I?m truly sorry life turned out the way it did, but I?m sorry, life is rarely a rose filled dream, and me and your Dad, we weren?t suited, to be honest, we never were really a team. And of course, there were splinters when we split, and some of those went straight through your heart, and I just wanted to say I?m sorry, I forgive you, now, where on Earth could I possibly start? Look, I know you?re very easily hurt, some would say you have a very mild soul, and I know that stuff happened because of the divorce, I know that you no longer felt completely whole. But here?s the truth of the matter, and I think these words are going to last, the only thing that we can change is the future, it?s set in concrete and that?s our past. But it doesn?t mean what has gone, it doesn?t mean that past determines what's before, because I want us to repair the damage, I want us to be mother and son, once more. And being apart from you is so difficult, they are genuine tears, every time I let you go, and I just wanted you to know that I?m proud of you, but there are a few other things that you should know: Like every time you leave it leaves a hole, and I think I?ll never see you, ever again, and soon as you?ve gone, I look to that future, thinking of when we?ll be together, some time when. I remember dancing with you at your 6th grade dance, when all the other mom?s danced with their son, and I thought how tough life was for you, I started to regret every thing I?d ever done. But that was not a true and honest thought, because I?m sorry, some things are just meant to be, but I need you to know that I?m sorry I hurt you, because Chris, you mean the very world to me. I remember watching you on the basketball court, and I?m sorry, most of the time your team got beat, but now you?ve grown into a fine young man, and yes, you?ve finally grown into your feet. And be proud of those feet my boy, because on them, there?s a mighty man, standing tall, and the hardest things in life will make you stronger, but please remember, pride always comes before a fall. And now it?s great that you and Ryan get on, I was so nervous, waiting in that hospital room, but I came back to see you laughing, and your smiles certainly brightened up my gloom. And I miss that smile most every day, but I understand totally your loyalty to you Dad, just know that I love you very much. and that light up rose was the nicest present I?ve ever had. So, I think we should both ?light up?, and let our love shine so very bright, and in the meantime, I?ll think of you every morning, and you?ll be my very last thought, late at night.

Copyright www.agiftofpoetry.co.uk 2008

Allen Jesson

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